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In Search of a Word / Reza Khandan (Nasrin Sotoudeh’s husband)

Sunday 19 September 2010, by admin

Feminist School: 29th of August 2010the security forces entered Nasrin Sotoudeh’s office and her home at the same time and raided her personal files and belongings and handed a notice of attending a court hearing session based in the notorious Evin prison. Then Nasrin Sotoudeh was arrested after reporting tothe special court in Evin prison. Reza Khandan, Nasrin’s husband, wrote the following pices and described how the security forces searched their home:

Ten officers with cold faces and unemotional eyes turned our house as well as our offices up side down, and searched every corner inch by inch: wardrobes, over and under our children’s beds, shelves, tables, bookshelves, drawers, our daily notebooks, our accounting books, kitchen utensils, toiletries, bathrooms and toilets, children’s toys—they were all meticulously searched, in and out, one by one, and finally, when they become tired after four hours of work, they left our home and office with several bags full of our utensils, working equipments, computers, and even our children’s toys.
What was the end result of all these searching? Did they find what they were looking for? Heaven knows!

The next day I asked my wife, “Do you think they were really looking for anything? Do you think they spend so much time and energy to find something in particular in our house and our office? Something specific?â€
“I don’t know. We don’t have anything worthwhile. I really don’t know what they were looking for here,†she said, still in disbelief.
My mind was still occupied with that question, and I could not free myself from it. If we knew what they were looking for, we could have helped them.

No, very likely they were looking to find something to use against us; maybe, they were looking for what we are all looking for!

Two weeks passed since Nasrine has been in a solitary confinement. Our little Nima is constantly crying, seeking his mother’s love and attention, Mehraveh, our daughter, with all her childishness, tries to hide her sadness and divert his baby brother’s attention from his need for a mother to something else, and I myself seem to be worried more with each day passing. But, there are still some moments when I think about all those officers searching our home and offices, thinking if they found what they were looking for. Very likely they turned over every single page of our personal accounting and notebooks, very likely they searched our children’s game program very well, but did they find what they wanted/
However, I guess one of the officers mange to find what he was looking for, something that was not hidden from sight. It was right on the table next to a pair of candlesticks with pink candles, something so visible that it did not need all this searching.

One of the officers walked closer to the table, picked up the book which was left open and could see how far it had already been read. He stared at its cover for long, too long for someone whose job requires him to figure things out very quickly. It seems he was thinking. I thought he might have found what he was looking for, though he did not look happy. Maybe that is why he placed the book, which with bold green letter read “Letters†, calmly next to the candlesticks after a great pause.
Did he find it? The “letters?†Yes, I think he had found it. It is the same thing we all are looking for: A word! Isn’t a word made of letters?
The half-read book remained on the table long after the officer left us to figure out the answer to each of the words he had found, Since then, everyone who came to visit would read a chapter of it hoping to find that “word†too; but who is going to find it after all?
Both sides are looking

Translated by: Mina Siegel

Source in Persian:


the following link is also about Nasrin Sotoudeh:


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